Blatter - Budweiser World Cup Multi-Ball!
Not content with lining their pockets with dodgy ticket allocations, Sepp Blatter and his pals up at FIFA HQ have been looking at new ways of solving that age old problem of what to do if the Final is a draw.
Italy won the last World Cup on penalties, but Sepp feels that the penalty shoot out is no longer acceptable (I’m sure all England fans would agree with him!)
“When it comes to the World Cup Final it is passion, when it goes to extra time it is drama.
But when it comes to penalty kicks it is a tragedy. Football is a team sport and penalties are not a team, it is the individual.”
His ideas so far include a replay of the final or take players away one by one and play golden goal, but it looks like its all up for discussion so we may all get our chance to influence how a World Cup final is settled.
Previous methods of settling finals have included; penalties (England’s favourite….), the toss of a coin, replays, and golden goal. The Americans have even suggested using “zonal” ends, where the “defensive” teams are only allowed so many players (a bit like the offside rule but in reverse).
Maybe we could use some statistical criteria to settle a draw, so if its a draw then each team’s stats over the tournament could be looked at; fewest yellow cards, most goals, best goal celebrations?
For me the golden goal worked well, and it reminded me of those long hot summer days, with jumpers for goal posts, playing long into the night, until someone’s mum called for them, then it was “next goal wins!”.
Another possibility that stems from those long summer nights could be to remove the offside rule and allow “goal hanging”, so no one is ever offside and you can stand where you like. It’d certainly open the game up a bit.
Taking a man off every 5 minutes to make the golden goal happen sounds good, but its a bit stop and start, and would also be confusing, “No, I’m 4th man off, YOU were 3rd man off!”.
Rather than do it piecemeal you could go for a rugby sevens style solution, with rush goal (unless Alonso’s playing for the opposition!). So, if after normal time there was no goal, you moved to the half hour extra time Golden Goal. If still no goal, then you move to “Soccer Sevens” whereby you take off four players each and let the others run around. Eventually the extra space and tired legs would lead to a goal.
Any other ideas should be forwarded to :
Sepp Blatter,
c/o FIFA home for retired ticket touts,
Switzerland,
You-can’t-touch-us-here.
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