Straighten Up, You Pathetic Little Worms
Poor Alex Ferguson. His team is in shambles and the press have the nerve to ask about it. Shame on them - shame! Don’t they know that Sir Alex (he’s been knighted, you know) is the Scottish Lord of All Things Football, and is not to be slighted? Slights include but are not limited to the following: public reports questioning his ability; verbal criticism of his team and/or decisions; dislike of his attitude; funny looks. Is that clear?
Also, a note about today’s press conferences. When his team fails to thump Wigan at home, blame will not be accepted by Sir Alex. Those potentially at fault will be the match officials, cheaters, Jose Mourinho, and the press. That is all.
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